I promised to share some of my parts that still need a bit of TLC (Tender Loving Care) when the going gets tough in relation to my last blog on Internal Family Systems. As a counsellor clients may want to believe you to have all the answers or keep you at a distance so they are not disappoined by your imperfections.

For the most part, mental health professionals have cultivated a level of resilience necessary for their work and welcome their clients challenges. However, recognizing that we all share a common humanity—that we, too, experience stress, loss, trauma, and unexpected challenges—offers a healthier perspective on seeking help. It’s a reminder that therapists are fellow travellers on the journey of life, and the ability to connect through shared experiences fosters growth and healing for everyone involved.

Strengthening your connection with yourself in relation to the outside world is essentially what therapy is all about. It’s a journey of self-discovery and integration, where the goal is to understand yourself more deeply and navigate life’s challenges with greater clarity and resilience.

Embracing Vulnerability and Self Compassion: A Path to Authentic Connection

One of the core elements of therapy—and indeed of all meaningful human relationships—is the courage to be vulnerable. The Apostle Paul, in 2 Corinthians 12:9, writes,

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Paul’s words remind us that acknowledging our weaknesses is not a sign of failure, but a path to experiencing God’s strength and grace in our lives. God does not expect us to be perfect and He is trying to find a way to help Paul understand this.

Irvin D. Yalom, a renowned existential psychotherapist, emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability in the therapeutic relationship. He states,

“Only by confronting our own vulnerabilities can we help others to do the same.”

When we accept and share our own struggles, we create a space where others feel safe to do the same. This mutual vulnerability not only strengthens our connection with others but also deepens our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

As someone who has experienced childhood trauma when I am confronted by aggression in any form it can trigger a child like response. Usually withdrawing deeply into myself. In order for me to actually deal with the conflict presented I have to talk to myself in a gentle understanding way, as if I am speaking to a fearful or sulking child. I have to engage with myself to remind my ‘inner child response’ that I’m big now and I am safe. I also have options and choices that I have control over. Today I allow myself these two gifts – my own vulnerability and self-compassion.

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, explains,

“Self-compassion provides the same benefits as high self-esteem without its drawbacks.”

She emphasizes that being kind to ourselves in moments of failure or suffering is crucial for emotional well-being and resilience. This aligns with the biblical command in Matthew 22:39 to

“love your neighbour as yourself,” suggesting that self-compassion is not selfish, but a necessary foundation for loving others effectively.

Self-compassion invites us to release the weight of shame and judgment and accept God’s grace fully. As Dr. Neff encourages,

“Having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness.” 

This is not an excuse to remain stagnant, but rather a call to grow in a healthy, grace-filled way. When we embrace grace, we experience true peace—the kind of peace that comes from knowing we are loved unconditionally, no matter what.

Take a moment today to reflect on how you can deepen your connection with your inner self. Consider what it means to extend compassion and kindness to yourself, and how allowing yourself to be vulnerable can open the door to greater self-understanding and healing. It can be a huge relief to give yourself a break!

If you are interested in more of what I do. There are 4 ways I can help you on your self-discovery journey:

• As a counsellor with 25 years experience including my own healing journey I give clarity and focus that brings my clients hope, peace, harmony, fulfilment and emotional intelligence for better decision making, resilience and influence. Read testimonials and book a session HERE.

• I teach the life changing Journey to Wholeness Course. With teachings drawn from Optimised Life & the New Psychology  taking you week by week on a self-awareness healing journey from the inside out. Find out more and get Extream Traction to reach your goal HERE.

• I offer Inner Healing Holy Spirit Discovery sessions to uncover deep insights about yourself, building genuine connections that will quickly remove inner confusion and chaos. Bringing back harmony, peace and hope. Find out more HERE.

• I share my own recovery story from addiction, depression and emotional distress and confusion, so that others going through the same know they are not alone. My core goal is to go to war with shame, expose the enemy's plan and bring hope and light to the darkness. Read HERE.

Not sure where to start? Get in touch with your questions and you can have a FREE 20 min chat to work it all out. CONTACT ME via my website or email me kim@aliveingodswill.com.

Testimonials

I did a Holy Spirit Exploration session with Kim, as well as EMDR sessions. The Holy Spirt session was so powerful. I have seen massive changes in my life. In this session, things that normally caused me distress for many years were handed over to God to transform. God has transformed them. Kim is an authority on God's word and her sessions are delivered in His mighty name.

Jennifer Cromer 

Read more testimonials HERE.