Blog

When Freedom Feels UnfamiliarYou can want something different and still be afraid to choose it. What is it in your life that you know needs to change, yet you keep finding reasons to leave exactly as it is? You can genuinely desire change and still feel safer choosing what you've always known. I've lived that contradiction. For years, I desperately wanted a different life, yet continued making choices that took me further away from it. I didn't understand why I kept repeating

By my early twenties, I thought I knew what I wanted. I wanted somebody to love me. Not use me, leave me, hurt me. Just love me. The problem was that I had absolutely no idea how to receive it. By then, relationships had become another form of pain management. Being pursued gave me an intoxicating sense of value. If a man wanted me, for a little while I could believe I mattered. When that feeling disappeared, I needed it again. I became very good at attracting men. I was attr

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1 NKJV There is something beautiful in the word dwell. The Hebrew carries the idea of sitting, remaining, settling and inhabiting. This is not describing an occasional encounter with God. It is describing a place in which you have made your home. You are no longer arriving and leaving. You are learning to live there. The Hebrew word translated dwells is yashab. It carri

At seventeen, I moved to Harare to attend college. For the first time in my life, I had real freedom. I was away from home, living in a girls' hostel in the city, surrounded by people my own age and able to make my own decisions. Unfortunately, I wasn't remotely equipped to make them. By then, bulimia already had a firm grip on my life. At home there had at least been some boundaries around me. Dad knew about the bulimia and would try to stop me disappearing to the bathroom a

If you had met me as a teenager, you probably wouldn't have recognised how much I was struggling. Like many young people in the 1980s, I laughed with my friends, obsessed over fashion, bleached my hair far more than was sensible, smoked cigarettes, fell in and out of relationships and tried to look as though life was unfolding exactly as it should. From the outside, I looked like I was simply growing up. The truth was very different. By then, bulimia had become part of my dai

There are moments in life that only make sense when you look back. At the time, they simply feel confusing. When I left boarding school and returned home, I felt as though I had stepped into someone else's life. I missed the friendships that had surrounded me every day and suddenly found myself trying to settle back into family life with parents who loved me deeply but didn't always understand me. My father was gentle but rarely spoke. My mother loved me fiercely and wanted t

There is one part of my childhood that I have returned to more times than any other while writing this book. Not because it frightens me now but because I have often wondered what life must have looked like through the eyes of that little girl. For as long as I can remember, strange images would come into my mind as I was going to sleep. They were not dreams because I was still awake. Night after night, I would see twisted faces, wolf-like creatures and men whose faces change

There are moments from my childhood that I can still see as clearly as if they happened yesterday. Some of them are full of warmth. I remember a home where I felt safe. I remember reading books under a tree at school while I waited for my brother. I remember bringing friends home because I was proud of where I lived. I remember parents who loved me and did their very best for me. Those memories are just as real today as they were then. But there are other memories that stayed

As a child, I often felt different, but I couldn't explain why. Not better. Not worse. Just different. I was not unhappy. In many ways, I had a safe and loving childhood. I had parents who cared for me, a comfortable home, and a life free from much of the chaos many children experience. Yet somewhere beneath the surface, I always felt slightly out of step with the world around me. I never seemed to need large groups of friends. In fact, I often preferred my own company. While

Performance Pressure Another Hidden Addiction People often assume eating disorders are about appearance. Fo me, it went far deeper than that. Food became emotional relief. Control became emotional safety. And bulimia became a way of coping with feelings I did not understand and could not regulate. Looking back now, I can see the early seeds long before I had language for any of it. I had already begun dieting around the age of eleven or twelve. What started as “healthy contro

The Addiction No One Saw Long before alcohol entered my life, I was already addicted. Not to substances. Not to attention itself. But to what attention made me feel about myself. Seen. Wanted. Valuable. I was only twelve years old when I began learning that being attractive could change how people treated me. Almost overnight, I went from being an unnoticed little girl to receiving approval, compliments, attention, and admiration. And although it felt exciting at the time, so

Or is it something that can finally settle in your soul? The answer is both. There are moments where I actively choose to trust God. Not because it feels natural, but because it is the only anchor I have. And then there are moments where trust is no longer a decision I am forcing it has settled so deeply within me that it holds me, even when everything else feels uncertain. But that kind of trust is not formed in ease.It is formed in moments that don’t make sense. I remember

There is a particular kind of ache that comes when you are doing everything you know how to do, and nothing seems to be shifting. You are praying. You are reading. You are journaling honestly. You are showing up in church, in community, in your quiet times. You are not avoiding God. In fact, you are reaching for Him. And still, there is silence. Or at least that is what it feels like. WALKING ALONE IN THE DESERT After twenty-five years of sitting across from Christians who lo

Life Giving People Here’s a truth we often forget. Life isn’t just about giving. It’s also about receiving. And to receive fully, you have to fight for yourself . Too often, we give endlessly to please demanding parents, bosses, peers, or friends who don’t respect our boundaries. We try to earn love or approval, suppressing our needs and feelings. But here’s the thing, you were made to live with a peaceful heart, not a heart on constant alert . Thomas Merton says it best: “We

So often, we hide behind the words, “I’m fine.” Heaven knows I’ve done it more times than I can count! We plaster on a smile, nod along,...

Recognising burnout probably sounds simpler than it is. It's hard to understand what is happening to us when we are emotionally...

Faking it to make it! The beginning of a new year is often seen as a time of renewal and fresh starts. Yet, for many, it can feel like...

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, has spent decades researching what makes marriages and relationships thrive or fail....

I promised to share some of my parts that still need a bit of TLC (Tender Loving Care) when the going gets tough in relation to my last...

In my last blog we looked into breaking free from negative thoughs through centering. A definition of centering is: The action or process...